Wednesday, July 18, 2012

DAY 12: Juice Up-rise and bug on bug love

Life on the road (not eating) is about the worst thing ever.  I loyally stay in a extended stay hotel that happens not to have a pool or Jacuzzi.  I drive longingly by my old per-diem haunts.  I hear the soft whisper of the Blue-corn Chile Relleno Cheese Burger from The Range calling to me as I drive slowly by.  The Little Anitas down the street - where I used to be a green chile swilling Norm actually called to make sure I was OK.  (I am not sure how they got my phone number.  That was a little creepy actually.  And untrue - but I am sure I was missed this week.)

I also may have over bought on my supplies.  This - of course - is usually just fine with the hotel staff who cleans up after me.  However, unlike my usually Pop-Tarts, Triscuits, Soda, etc, I imagine they will be highly disappointed to find left over fennel bulbs, celery, swiss chard, and cucumbers.  (Maybe I'll leave a paper in the fridge inviting them to watch Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  (It's the gospel of juicing and I will not be ashamed to be numbered among the believers.)


Fennel Bulb
You may notice that the recipes are getting larger and crazier.  I don't want to leave anything yummy in the fridge so I have to get creative.  I started the day with the requisite 1/4 Lemon + Hot Water.  Then I spied the fennel bulb and realized I hadn't tried that yet.

1 Fennel bulb
1 Pear

It was pretty tasty but it will take some serious getting used to.  Fennel tastes like anise which tastes a lot like black licorice.  Pair that with pear and it is sweet and pungent.  Not in a bad way, just in a new way.  I then turned back to the juice I was in the process of making which was:

1 Apple
1 Cucumber
1 Celery
1 1/16 Pineapple
1 1/5 Watermelon

I downed that and promptly threw up.  At least I think it was throw up.  Let me explain my confusion.  Typically when one vomits, that which comes out contains but does not resemble that which went in.  In the case of a juicer, it was relatively surreal because it was like my body had just thrown itself in to reverse.  What I had just put in - exactly as it originated - exited my body.

(You - No Duh.  You liquefied like 14 things, poured them down your gullet and were then somehow  confused when it made a reappearance.  We've been waiting for 12 days for you to throw up or go crazy and it appears to have happened all at once.)

Lesson learned - don't try all the recipes at the same time.  It might end you.  With all the excitement I forgot to snap a photo.
Jack LaLanne



It was brown green drinkable and nothing more.  I am getting somewhat used to drinking that which does not appeal.  No reappearance so that was good.  BTW -  Arnold Schwarzenegger once stated, "That Jack LaLanne's an animal!," after LaLanne, at 54, beat a 21-year-old Schwarzenegger "badly" in an informal contest.  On the occasion of LaLanne's death, Schwarzenegger credited LaLanne for being "an apostle for fitness" by inspiring "billions all over the world to live healthier lives," and, as governor of California, had earlier placed him on his Governor's Council on Physical Fitness.  (He's not my idol yet.  Once I buy the one piece blue jump suit, you'll know I have gone over the edge.  Hey, it could be worse.  I could idolize Richard Simmons.


Going for broke.  Emptying the fridge.  I saved some good stuff for the morning and put the rest down C-Max:

1/4 Pineapple

Notice no fennel.  After this morning, I am a bit gun shy.  I realized today that I have a boring blog when I have a boring life.  Here I sit in a bland hotel, drinking bland juice and wishing I could use my per-diem for some real food.

As you may notice, I went three for three on NOT taking pictures of my juices.  I even had two shots at breakfast and I missed both. (Oooooo yuck.  Not funny.)  So I thought I would show you something I discovered today while driving around for work.  I really did take this with my very own phone.


  1. I wanted to read a funny parody about the drunk guy at the discount theater...

    1. @Alisa - I'll have to do a recap under "housekeeping" on Day 13.

  2. Juicer Dan, what are the benefits of celery and cucumber? Would it be better to just leave them out and add in more of a different vegetable that is more "palatable"?