Friday, July 13, 2012

DAY 6: Don't Anger the Machine Trolls

North Beach, Bear Lake, Idaho
Now, I have heard that juicing can make one a bit little foggy between the ears.  Of course, you don't hear this from Joe and the Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead folks.  In my experience, it has been a non-issue unless I forget to drink my juice or water.  Then, as I had to apologize to Steph for a while ago, you wander around your place of employment a little and scare some people.  This isn't a warning to not operate heavy machinery, more just an FYI - juicing takes preparation and attention.  Preparation in taking with you what you'll need for the WHOLE day.  Attention to your timing, your supplies, etc.

I say all this for a reason. . . let's just say some guy and few early risers headed out to the lake at say 7:00am to try and get some of that beautiful glassy early morning water.  And let's say that at some point one of the other people in the boat says, "Um. There is LOTS of water in here."  Most people would stop to investigate right?  Chalk it up to dangerous indifference, inexperienced ignorance or the juice, but I say, "It's a boat.  That happens."  Of course, 3 minutes later when the engine gurgles to a stop and the back carpet is more than a little wet, that same guy might decide to investigate.  (Hey look!  A small geyser-like fountain in the engine compartment of the boat.  Hmmm.  Maybe the boat is water cooled. *I don't own a boat*)  ((Internal internal monologue - "Hey mush-head.  That's a hole in the boat and that is water.  Do the math.  Jam your thumb in the hole or you and I are both going to have a long swim home.))  (Oh.  OK.)

Once again, I don't blame the juice.  I suggest that the guy who took the engine plug out the night before and didn't tell anyone might be to blame.  Granted, I was a bit slow to react but my thumb (and a good bilge pump) saved the day.  (BTW - If I am ever in a disaster movie, I know which sister-in-law to take along.  Like General Patton meets the energizer bunny.  She almost got the boat to plane out with an oar and a water-ski.)



Upon returning from the lake, I find myself in a kitchen filled with bacon, eggs, tortillas, cheese, etc.  (And a brother-in-law with 4 voicemails and 2 texts from the guy who took the engine plug out.  *sigh*)  Now, I may not have mentioned but Breakfast Burritos are one of the foods that given the "What would you eat for the rest of your life?" question would be near if not at the top of my list.  You can't beat cheesy eggs, crispy bacon, country potatoes, and salsa wrapped in a giant, carb ladden tortilla.  The ones in Mexico that they make with bacon grease that are so thin you can see through them are my personal favorites.  (Deep breath)  So I decide to make something special. I've got a mango in the fridge.  (You may recall my earlier out of body, semi-zombie like, baby giraffe episode with a mango.  It could be said that I generally appreciate their fruity qualities.)  Remember, I am trying to resist the temptation of the breakfast burrito.  (Yes, it was the thing I was planning on "accidentally" falling off the juice wagon for.  You caught me.)  So I concoct:

- 1 Mango (avoided shoving it in my mouth)
- 4 Carrots
- 2 Apples
- 1 1/2 Sweet potato
- 1 Cucumber
- 1 over-sized packing* of spinach
- 1 1/2 Lemon (my new "green friendly" friend)

I happily pack my spinach, insert the beautiful mango flesh, throw in four carrots and watch them dance in the juicer, throw in 1/2 an apple and proceed with the cucumber.  In a scene not unlike the boat geyser above, it began to dawn on me that something was amiss when liquid began to suspiciously appear on the counter.  (Hmmm.  Deja Vu.  Equipment problems.  Where do I stick my thumb?)  Turns out an overly ripe mango (meaning anything other than firm) will gum up the chutes like a 1-lb block of cheddar cheese.  So the spinach, carrots, apple and finally the ever present cucumber found a new, far messier way to escape.  (Oh what did I do to the machine trolls to make them so very angry with me?)  After a quick (slow, painful, sticky, out of town and don't know where anything is) clean up, I decided I better make a 2nd juice because we were headed for the lake for a "few" hours.  Went with a version of "light green" because I was running extremely short on supplies.  (Anxiety level pretty high.  If you've ever been to Bear Lake, you know there aren't a lot of produce purchasing locations.)

Notice my 'lil guy in the background - spent all day in a hole

The batch of "light green" was all the tastier because I got to enjoy it as I baked like a day old raisin.  The "few" hours turned into until 7:00PM.  Upside - everyone had so much fun we couldn't make them leave.  Downside - By the time we cleaned, packed, hauled, loaded and secured a boat and all the beach goodies, we were all so "baked" that we we all forgot how much fun we had just had.

Here is where the seemingless unrelated boat and juicer stories above come into play.  I found myself unprepared for a 7:00pm departure from the lake, boat refueling and drop-off, raspberry shakes for the kids, and a 3 hour drive home.  I failed to the tune of 1 tasty chicken finger.  It was mighty mighty tasty but I chalked this one up to failure to prepare.  I did have the will power to NOT order myself a whole order (man, they were good.  Even at $5 an order and knowing that I'd have to blog a confession, I seriously considered a binge.)

Overall, the juicing on vacation worked very well.  I only failed once because I failed to plan.  I did avoid breakfast burritos and other lake related snacks and goodies.  I traveled without celery which I may need add back into the mix.  I also need to dive in and find some new ingredients.  It hasn't been too bad so far but if I'm going to stick with this, I may need some new ingredients.


  1. I'm proud of you baby! It is not easy to stick to something when everyone around you is indulging themselves.

    I'm not sure how long you plan on keeping this up but I'm enjoying reading about it. You bring humor into everything. It's truly a talent to put a smile on so many faces even if you're talking about sweet potatoes.

    I'm pretty sure that as far as husbands go I got the very best one!

  2. Ha Ha! Thanks so much for all your help with the boat by the way. I am amazed and how happy and energetic you seem with such little caloric intake.