Wednesday, July 25, 2012

DAY 19: Back from the dead

HE'S ALIVE!  I wish I could say that 2 weeks of this was all I needed and I have moved on to a happy, veggie filled life of kittens and rainbows.  The sad, sorry truth is this has been tough.  The "In Real Life" part of JuiceIRL (yes, that is what IRL means to anyone under 20.  I am so hip.) (You - "Uh . . . I don't think they say "hip".)

So, DAY 13 took me down a peg.  DAY 14 I had a shock.  I was up 3lbs. from the last time I weighed.  I don't know why that shocked me.  Probably because I had done so much better than normal that I thought all my half-sacrifice would have paid off.  (The I remembered the bag of microwave popcorn, the big bag of almonds - it was a Wal-mart bag, not a snack bag - It lasted me 4 days of dibotchery, etc.)  I guess I learned that half-doing this juice thing wasn't going to get me the results I needed.

In true pig headed fashion, instead of recommitting to 100% juice fasting, I went off the deep end.  Day 14 I brought a mason-jar of juice to work, drank that and then ate 1/2 a philly-cheese steak (on the plus side, I did finally find something to mask the gnasty taste of bottled juice), I then got home and at another cold burrito in the fridge (Man, these things are everywhere!), and got ready to go camping.  Can't juice and camp I reckoned so I ate a sleeve of Chips-ahoy, a burger, some soda (it wasn't even good soda but I drank it anyway), a plate of bacon, eggs, pancakes, and hash browns, a turkey sandwich, some wayward fruit that got between my mouth and my next cookie, some granola bars, and some trail mix.  (That was a 23.5 hour camping trip.  When I go to ground, I go ALL the way.)

I got home and went to dinner.  I came home and had a cookie.  That ended Saturday.  I had jumped off the juice wagon, hit the ground with my face, tumbled, and came skidding to a stop.

Sunday I couldn't walk!  (No, not from the metaphorical face plant off the juice wagon)  During my cookie induced camping haze, I may have scaled the Timp Cave trail in 45 minutes.  It's an 1100ft vertical in 1.5 miles.  The 12 year old's I was with didn't think that was fast.  A few adults I was with didn't either, but for a guy who had regained 50lbs in the last 12 months, it might as well have been running.  As I lay in bed with a rolled up heat pad wedged in my lower extremities, I had to make a decision: a) never to hike again hopped up on Chips-Ahoy or b) to get back on the juice wagon.  I fueled up on Vitamin-A (Advil) and packed the family truckster for the trip to Northern Arizona.  

Along the way, there may or may not have been a plate of homemade tacos and semi-homemade peach and cherry pies (yes, both), a Monday morning filled with cheese danishes and Grape-nuts (yes, Grape-nuts.  I was trying the Hot-Fudge-Sundae-and-a-Diet-Coke plan), and more turkey sandwiches and granola bars.  But there had been a change.  I knew I had to come back.  I knew I had to rise from the juice-dead and fire up C-Max.  I almost looked forward to cucumbers and kale.  (Almost.  And I think it was the Chips Ahoy again)  I could hear the Rocky theme music in my head.  (Bah, Badda, Bah, Badda, Bahm, Badda Bahm, Bah Badda Bah Baddam Baddam! - You know the one!)

DAY 18

I juiced once in the morning.  It was gross.  I slurped in down and cursed my rash decision making.  Was a sleeve of Chips Ahoy in the morning really such a bad way to live.  I once knew a 70ish-year-old guy who ate a bowl of Frosted Flakes, Chips Ahoy, and chocolate milk for breakfast every morning while waiting on his bacon and eggs.  Couldn't I live that way?   Probably not.  He didn't eat all the way through the great depression and fought in a world war.  He'd earned the good stuff.  The stuff would certainly kill me.  So I jammed:

1 Cucumber
1 1/2 Lemon
2 Cups of Spinach
2 Green Apples
3 Large Carrots

Into C-Max and dove in.  (Oh my Uuugghhh!  It was as bad as I remembered.)  But with each slurp of despair, I knew I was clawing my way back on the wagon.  (Ironically, while I am writing this, my 36 year-old sister is prancing around the cabin singing "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger".  I don't think she's trying to be funny, but it's working.)

The rest of DAY 18 I made "sacrifices".  I didn't have a treat at Circle-B, I didn't have two s'mores, I didn't have seconds of nachos or guacamole, and I didn't eat the rest of the popcorn.  (Hey!  I'm a recovering former juicer trying to come clean.  It's going to take me some time. *jerk*)

C-Max Jr. - I'm so proud!
C-Max Jr.

I also got some interesting news today.  My nephew decided to juice.  I don't know whose blog he's been reading but it wasn't mine or he would have run the other way.  You go Big M.  Good luck and let me know how it goes.

DAY 19

I rolled out of bed and began to juice.  (Get behind me Satan!)  I dodged the kitchen table piled with cereal boxes, the pantry filled with Granola Thins (BTW, they only make you thin if you eat one a day.  Not one every time you walk by - lesson learned)

I grabbed C-Max and juiced:

1 Cucumber
4 Kale Leaves
3 Cups of Spinach
1 1/2 Lemon
1 1/2 Cantaloupe (oh no.  I had to spell check it)

It wasn't horrid.  I do grimace when I carry it to the table.  No one said this was easy.  (BTW - for those of you who don't think there is fiber in juice, check out the picture.  I let this one sit in the fridge while I cleaned up C-Max.)

I'm going to publish now even though it's just after breakfast.  I'm on a 3G hotspot and don't want to push my luck.  I will chronicle my highs and lows in "housekeeping" tomorrow.  

For those of you (Mikie) who are contemplating juicing, remember:

- Drink LOTS of water.  You are detoxing your body (especially in the beginning) and the toxins will make you feel lousy.  "Flush" them out!

- Drink before you get hungry.  Otherwise you'll zombie stumble around and won't even know why.

- Juice has all the vitamins and stuff that eating the veggies/fruits has.  But because you are liquefying it, you give up the non-soluble fiber which allows you to absorb nearly 90% more of the nutrients.

- You can't juice Twinkies - even if you freeze them first.


  1. I'm so glad to see you are still here. I am learning so much from your journey and I truly appreciate it.

    I'm curious: Did you have an upset stomach when you started eating the "stuff"? I'm finding it quite interesting that I'm not craving chocolate, cookies, etc. and I wonder what would happen if I chose to eat something.

    Again, thanks for all the info!

    1. @TracieH - DO NOT EAT! IT WILL KILL YOU! Just kidding. :)

      I just want you to fall of the wagon because of me.

      I am still here. Juicing at the cabin has not been easy at all. No water pressure. No fridge for my supplies. No garbage disposal.

      I'd have to say eating all that stuff didn't do anything unusual to me. That is to say, I didn't feel good after eating all of that, but that is VERY typical for me. Juicing has been a good experience. Aside from the horrid tasting juice, I feel good.

      I have HEARD from others that when coming down off a juice fast, any "real" food can be VERY hard on the system for a couple of weeks. It is recommended by Joe and others to spend about 2 weeks post-fast eating raw fruits and veggies (i.e. lots of salads) to reaclimate your bod to digesting.

      Keep up the fight. Don't die. Don't cheat on my account.

    2. I just *don't* want you to fall *off* the because of me.

  2. Holy cow, man, it sounds like you were fueling up for an upcoming famine! Repeat after me, "juicing is not a famine. My body will get all the nutrients it needs from the juice. Even if it tastes nasty."

    Stay clean, you hip dude, you. (Yeah, I can't pull it off either...)

    1. @Chile - Nice try being a twenty something. I can't pull it off. I think I am twenty something until I do something physical and then only Vitamin A and a nap can bring me back from the edge.

      That being said, I always try to show the young guys I can still hang. I am like a silver-backed gorilla. It may kill me to be king of the hill but I am going to be - at least for another day.